Disclaimer: This blog is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute legal advice, nor does it create an attorney-client relationship. Survivors should consult with an attorney for legal guidance specific to their situation. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For local support and advocacy, contact the Greater Charlotte Hope Line at 980-771-4673. 

For many survivors of domestic violence, going to court is one of the most intimidating parts of seeking safety. The fear of seeing the abuser again. The anxiety of navigating unfamiliar legal procedures. The emotional toll of sharing deeply personal and traumatic experiences in a public setting.  

"It's enough to make anyone hesitate," says Leanne Thurman, a Family Advocate with Safe Alliance's Victim Assistance Court Program (VACP). "And that hesitation makes sense because the process is hard. But that's why we're here. To walk beside you, answer your questions, and remind you that you're not alone." 

Knowing what to expect can take some of the fear out of the experience. And having someone like Leanne in your corner can make all the difference. 

Before the Hearing: Filing and the Emergency "Ex Parte" 

After connecting with an advocate and deciding to pursue a Domestic Violence Protective Order (DVPO), your first court appearance is typically an ex parte hearing. This is a temporary emergency hearing where only you (not the defendant) are present. 

"Ex parte" hearings are typically conducted virtually, and you're never expected to do them alone. An advocate sits with you (either in-person or remotely), offers support, and explains what's happening before, during, and after the hearing. 

During this proceeding, the judge will review your file and ask critical questions to determine if there's imminent danger: 

• Were there recent threats or violence? 

• Has the defendant strangled you? 

• Has the defendant threatened you? 

• Do you fear for your life? 

"These are heavy questions," Leanne explains. "The reason we have emergency hearings is because domestic violence situations can escalate quickly. Survivors sometimes don't have 7 to 10 days to wait for protection. That's why the court takes immediate risk so seriously." 

The standards for granting an emergency order are high. The judge is specifically looking for signs of imminent danger. If the judge believes there is an immediate risk, you'll be granted a temporary protective order that takes effect once the defendant is served and a full court hearing will be scheduled, typically within 710 days. 

However, if the judge does not grant the emergency order, it doesn't mean your case is over. You'll still have the opportunity to present your case at the full hearing. 

"We always remind clients that a denial of the emergency order does not mean the court doesn't believe you," says Leanne. "It just means the judge didn't see enough legal evidence of immediate danger in that moment. But you still get your day in court." 

Whether the ex parte is granted or not, your advocate will stay with you, help you prepare for the full hearing, plan for you and your family's safety, and support you through every step that follows. 

What Happens Between Hearings 

The temporary order isn't enforceable until the defendant is served in person by the sheriff's office. If you're still living in the same home as the defendant, the sheriff will allow them to pack a few belongings and then remove them from the premises. 

If the defendant violates the temporary order, by contacting you, showing up at your home, or otherwise breaking the conditions, you can and should report it to law enforcement immediately. 

The Full Hearing: What You Need to Know 

7- 10 days after the ex parte, you'll attend the final hearing in court. This time, the defendant is present. And while that can be scary, you're not alone. 

"You'll sit on opposite sides of the courtroom," Leanne explains. "And law enforcement is always in the room. They're watching for intimidation. Things like staring, gestures, or trying to make you uncomfortable. Those things are not tolerated." 

Both parties are sworn in. The judge may first ask the defendant if they agree to the protective order. If they do, the hearing may end there. But if they contest it, the case will move into a trial setting, right then and there. 

This part can be emotionally difficult. You'll be asked to testify in your own words about what happened. You can bring: 

• Police reports or hospital records 

• Photos of injuries 

• Texts, emails, or call logs 

• Any other evidence that documents the abuse 

The judge listens to both sides, asks questions, and then makes a decision. They can: 

• Grant the protective order (which can last up to a year) 

• Deny it (if they determine that the legal standard for domestic violence hasn't been met) 

• Dismiss the case (often for technical reasons, like lack of evidence or if someone doesn't show up) 

• Continue the hearing (to give more time for service or for another judge to rule on related custody issues) 

"It's raw," Leanne says. "Survivors have to tell their story multiple times. To us, to the court, to law enforcement. And the system isn't always empathetic. But we do everything we can to prepare and support them through each step." 

After the Hearing: What Comes Next 

If granted, the protective order can last up to a year and may include terms about custody, housing, and contact. If denied or dismissed, your advocate will walk you through your options, filing again, pursuing criminal charges, or seeking other forms of support. 

Throughout the entire journey, your advocate is there to provide court education, answer questions, help you feel emotionally prepared, and ensure you are safe. 

"This process is hard," Leanne Thurman shares. "It's a process. And it asks a lot of you. But you don't have to do it alone. We're here to help connect the dots and walk beside you no matter the outcome." 

For survivors considering their next steps, we want you to know: 

"We are here. We are going to listen. We're going to try to get you connected to what you need and point you in the right direction. However we can." 

The courtroom is just one part of the journey to safety. With the right support system, healing is possible, even when it starts in a courtroom. 

If you're unsure whether court is the right step for you, reach out to our Greater Charlotte Hope Line at 980.771.4673. We're here to help you weigh your options, connect with resources, and walk beside you, every step of the way.