In the US alone, domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking impact over 12 million people every year, including right here in our own community. Survivors often carry their pain quietly, navigating trauma while trying to stay safe, support their families, or just make it through the day. If you've ever wondered what you can do to help, know this: your support matters more than you might realize. 

Whether you're a friend, a coworker, a neighbor, or simply someone who cares, you have the power to make a difference. Here's how. 

What Survivors Need Most: Safety, Support, and Someone Who Believes Them 

When someone opens up about abuse, it can feel overwhelming. You might not know what to say or worry you'll say the wrong thing. But you don't need to be a therapist or expert to help. You just need to show up with compassion, patience, and respect. 

"You don't have to have all the answers to support a survivor. Just showing up with compassion, patience, and a willingness to listen can make all the difference." Giovanni Aracena, Safe Alliance's Hotline Advocate Supervisor shares. 

Supporting Someone Actively in an Abusive Relationship 

When a loved one is still in an abusive relationship -- and isn't ready or able to leave -- it can be heartbreaking. You might feel helpless or frustrated. But your nonjudgmental, consistent support can offer them something they may not have: safety. 

Here's how to be there for them: 

• Pick a calm moment to check in. Avoid crisis moments. Try gentle, open-ended check-ins like, "How are you really doing?" 

• Let the conversation unfold naturally. Don't pressure them to share. Let them take the lead. 

• Avoid ultimatums. Saying "If you don't leave, I can't help you" can isolate them. Instead try: "I care about you and I'm here whenever you need me." 

• Validate their experience. Say: "You're not imagining this," "You don't deserve this," "I believe you." 

• Respect their choices. Leaving can be dangerous, financially impossible, or emotionally overwhelming. Support their decisions, even if they aren't what you would do. 

• Offer tangible help. "Can I save this hotline number for you?" "Would it help if I came with you to talk to someone?" 

• Share safe resources. Encourage them to call Safe Alliance's 24/7 Greater Charlotte Hope Line: 980-771-4673 for confidential help. If you are not in the Charlotte-Mecklenburg area, call 800.799.SAFE (7233) to connect with your local provider. 

Even if they don't act right away, your steady support can plant a seed of hope. You're giving them something the abuser may have taken away, a sense of control, safety, and trust. 

Supporting Someone Who's Sharing for the First Time 

If someone opens up to you about abuse or assault for the first time, how you respond can shape what they do next. This may be one of the most vulnerable moments of their life. Your job is to be a safe place. 

• Stay calm and grounded. Take a breath. Your steady presence helps them feel safe. 

• Say what matters most: 
  "Thank you for telling me." 
  "I believe you." 
  "None of this is your fault." 

• Don't press for details. Let them guide the conversation and stay in control of their story. 

• Don't judge their choices. Avoid asking why they didn't leave, fight back, or speak up sooner. 

• Offer gentle follow-up. Try: "What would feel supportive right now?" or "Would it be okay if I checked in again soon?" 

• Keep their confidence. Never share their story without clear, informed permission. 

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, "I'm here. I believe you. I'm not going anywhere." 

What Not to Do 

Even with the best intentions, certain actions can unintentionally harm someone who's already experienced trauma. Please avoid:  

• Judging their actions before, during, or after the abuse 

• Asking why they didn't leave or resist 

• Criticizing how they're coping 

• Sharing their story without explicit permission 

 Trauma is already isolating. Your empathy helps break that cycle. 

You Don't Need All the Answers 

You don't need to be perfect to be helpful. By showing up with empathy and a willingness to learn, you're already making a difference. 

Want to take it a step further? Educate yourself on trauma and healing through resources like: 

• No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model Dr. Richard Schwartz 

• Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma Peter Levine 

Learning is one of the most powerful ways to show love and support. 

Want to Do More? Here's How to Get Involved 

At Safe Alliance, we walk alongside survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking every single day. But we can't do it alone. 

Here's how you can join us in supporting healing and hope: 

• Volunteer. From helping at our shelter to supporting events, there's a role for everyone. 

• Donate. Your gift ensures survivors have access to safe shelter, legal advocacy, counseling, and more. 

• Speak up. Start conversations in your workplace, your place of worship, or your friend group. Help break the silence. 

• Follow us and share. Spreading awareness online helps survivors find us when they're ready. 

• Participate during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Attend an event, wear purple, and amplify survivor voices. 

Check out local events happening in this DVAM.

Survivors don't need you to fix everything. They need you to be present, to listen, and to believe them. 

Need support? Call our 24/7 Greater Charlotte Hope Line at 980-771-4673. We're here. Always.